systematic shaming

As a potential English major, I used to think Rory was everything I wanted to be—a smart student, a strong woman, a successful writer , and witty companion. When Thanksgiving break rolled around, I was eager to watch the finale of one of my favorite shows. What happened next left my heart broken into pieces. 

No, it's not because Rory doesn't end up with Logan. Or Jess. Or a boy in general. At age 32, Rory is still stuck in her old hometown making the same old mistakes. 

Watching Rory pal around with the life-and-death brigade showed me she still seeks affirmation from boys who refuse to respect her. Watching Rory yell at her mom to "let her have this" book proposal showed me her sense of entitlement has continued to swell. Watching Rory tell Lorelai she was pregnant showed me sexism is still alive and well. 

I was throughly disappointed that a show with a plot that entirely is rooted in woman power ended delivering the same messed up message—sometimes not even everything you have is enough to change the world's sexist ways. Whether it's a single mom's valiant effort to give their child a better life than their own or the most qualified presidential candidate in history losing an important election, lately I have felt like I'm constantly being told to give up. To shut down. To stop trying. 

Though great woman before me have made greater strides and lived through much poorer conditions, gender inequality is still a reality my generation has to deal with. Discrimination in pay, hiring and promotions continues to plague America's workplaces. Earning only 80 cents for every dollar earned by a man, some women live their entire lives at a disadvantage. 

Yet as women, we won't let this systematic shaming get to us. Resilient and resolute, let's accept this reality and move past it. Let's cure this social disease. Let's achieve the impossible. Let's finally start writing stories where we save ourselves. 

So here's to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them. 

no worries I am obviously still in love with them and this show

cherishing contentment

A List of Ten Words that Describe How I Feel Right Now:
1.  Old - I have officially made the college transition! Life at Rice is 10/10!
2.  Supported - The thought of change made me sick to my stomach, yet the second I stepped foot on campus I knew everything would be okay and that I was exactly where I was meant to be. Everyone was so welcoming & friendly from the start. Quirkiness is cool here...phew! My O-Week experience was full of laughter & dance parties & fireworks & hype & silly traditions & new friendships! Shoutout to my advisors for being so instrumental in helping us in our college transition - it was so apparent how much they really cared about us!
3.  Excited - I never have to take another math class again & the learning that happens here has been my favorite part so far. My English class has 5 people & I spent last Thursday chilling at MFAH for my Art History class! We are encouraged to explore what you love, and the pressure to perform has entirely melted away. I am definitely learning I am a humanities person!
4. Loved - My new Martel friends are super cute n fun! Susanna is sassy & sincere & a great listener. Elizabeth is super kind & is always up for an adventure! Christie is so driven & creative & straight up FUN to hangout with. Sarah is a constant source of support & sarcasm. Everyone at Martel has been very inclusive - it's nice to be able to sit at a table with just about anyone!
5. Creative - Now that I have so much extra time on my hands, I get more time to do things that help me unwind. The campus has so many great spots to read or write or draw or just be. From baking brownies to buying succulents, there is never a dull moment.
6. Challenged - Everyone here is a freaky genius & having a good intellectual conversation at dinner is no rarity. The environment here pushes you to be better in the best way possible, and I have already learned so much just from interacting with the people around me.
7. Conflicted - A clean slate really gives you the opportunity to decide exactly who you want to be. It is really easy to feel insecure about who you are, but it is a great chance for me to cement my values. Nevertheless, there are plenty of people here who really get me!
8. Grateful - I have so many people back home that I miss dearly, but I am so glad we are still able to keep in touch. FaceTime isn't quite the same, and can't wait to visit home over fall break! Distance really does make the heart grow fonder....my long distance relationship is still going strong! <3
9. Busy - School is really starting to ramp up (how does one study for a college test?!) and I have already joined a few clubs. So far, I have joined "The Rice Review" Lit Mag staff, a Christian group called "Chi Alpha", Martel Ultimate Frisbee and Historian Committee (taking pics!)....all is going good so far! Lots of cool people left to meet!
10. Content - Sometimes you look around and all you feel is really really happy. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES & it sure deserves to be documented!

lovett hall

fb!

MFAH

pic of me and some guy at the astros game

tx party! too sweaty

bby pigz on campus

skyspace

darcy

reppin'

succulent shopping

SID 80's!

whatabaes

martel olympics

LOVE

africa

africa trip was truly 10/10!!!

everything from the food to the people to the setting really wowed me! 

THE CREW - my mom (very stressed something was going to happen), my brother (wore the same 3 shirts for two weeks), me, virginia (my roomie & girl crush), will (funny & fun), aunt deedee (a copy of my mom, she organized the trip!), aunt maura (my other aunt, sassy & glamorous), & kelsey (cool older cousin)

days 1-2 - FULL OF FLYING

let's just say Europe no longer seems far away

days 3-5 - CAPETOWN, SOUTH AFRICA

finally made it & this place was nothing like I expected!

our hotel had a beautiful view of the beach & there was a lot more skyscrapers than I expected

on the first day, we went to the botanical gardens & then walked around the city

we stumbled upon this super cute neighborhood where every single house was colored

it was magical/very aesthetically pleasing

the next morning, we went to table mountain (mountain that overlooks the city) which was super cool

we spent lots of time climbing on vicarious rocks and making our parents nervous 

we also went to "the cape of good hope" (southern most tip of africa, thx mrs. schuldt), and saw the famous penguins!!! 

on day 5 we took a trip to the famous "winelands" (the french part of africa)

after lots of windy roads that made me want to puke, we arrived in a hilly place full of pretty vineyards

after eating a nom bread and cheese platter, we shopped around and I bought some trendy pants (hopefully I can pull them off)

next was the wine tasting...me & virginia thought they all tasted like poison but drinking age is 18 in africa! #turnup ?

days 6-9  JAO CAMP, BOTSWANA

day 6 meant moving locations...woohooo! safari time

after more flying, we hopped onto a little plane to fly to Botswana & landed in the middle of nowhere in the Okavango Delta

this was my favorite stop of the entire trip because we were staying in a TREE HOUSE hotel

the entire resort was elevated on stilts, and everyone was ridiculously nice

each day consisted of: 6am wake up call, a morning safari w hot chocolate, lunch, SIESTA, high tea, afternoon safari w snacks, then dinner

our guide's name was MD and we heart him because he would get so excited about the animals every time we saw one

the rooms were sick, and while you slept you listened to the wilderness (so loud!)

we shoot countless vlogs of getting chased by baboons and finding elephants & hippos under our porch

best moment at Jao - one night as we drove back to camp after watching the sunset, we came upon a huge heard of elephants crossing our path

we proceeded to drive through @ high speeds, it was like a video game!!! 

all of the elephants were running around and trumpeting really loud, it was a huge adrenaline rush but glad I survived to tell the tale

days 10-12 - CHIEF'S CAMP, BOTSWANA

after flying in the little plane for 15 mins, we arrived at our new crib 

we were the only ones at the camp & having it all to ourselves was fun/weird

Chief's Camp overlooked a watering hole, so it was pretty cool to have dinner while looking at animals!!!

Chief's Camp gets props for having SO many animals

we saw lions, zebras, giraffes, rhinos, impala, eagles, crocodiles, hippos, leopards, wild dogs, & buffalo

best moment at Chief's - seeing bby lions eating a zebra!!! very disgusting but also cool

circle of life amiright??? we refrenced lion king the entire trip btw

days 13-14 VICTORIA FALLS, ZIMBABWE

final destination on the trip was Victoria Falls & we had to get real life visas to enter Zimbabwe 

passport lady thought I was 14 :-) 

our hotel was super cool & we learned a lot from our guide about british explorer, David Livingstone

we had a seven course meal in the dining hall (3 hrs, kill me) & the falls were AMAZING

they stretch for like a mile, and most of the time the mist splashes so high you can't even see the falls in the first place

we also went to an open air market and I traded my 4 yr old beat up converse for a cute backpack!

days 15-16 FULL OF FLYING

managed to sleep for almost the entire 15 hr flight...happy to be home!! but now I have nothing to do

summer is pretty boring & lots of my friends are gone

I have been occupying myself playing Sims and watching Gilmore Girls

what an amazing trip! my family rocks! miss them already

it's me

h    e    l    l    o

i    t    '    s         m    e

I'VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG SO LET'S JUMP RIGHT INTO SOME HIGHLIGHTS OF THE FIRST HALF OF MY SENIOR YEAR!!!

On our last day of summer me & my friends made a music video to enter Ben Rector's contest! It was super fun!!! We didn't win (even though we were convinced we would). Silly people form college station broke the rules. His concert in Austin got cancelled :( We will always love you Ben <3

Lately, I have spent lots of time in ATX! I really like hanging out there because it reminds me of my Dad's silliness and creativity. That house will forever embody everything that he was. ACL was awesome! Not as sketchy as I thought. Much hotter than I thought. Vance Joy is super cute. Florence and the Machine was by far the best. We got super close to Walk the Moon. I got pizza instead of staying for Drake. I'm obsessed with Tiff's Treats.

i don't like rappers im sry

why we came

segway tour was swag

This year I've spent a few weekends out at LLFC. It's always so refreshing compared to the real world. I love my camp friends. Oh, and I get paid to hang out with them and eat free ice cream. I even spent my eightenth birthday out there (I'm actually five, no worries)! Hoping to apply for media team this year???

literal baes

Senior year has brought about a great deal of stress, and it's super weird that this is my last year at AH. Homecoming was actually fun? (I've never been a big fan of football games)?? Bonfire was underwhelming. I spent way too many tickets at Howdy Night. I'm trying to say yes to all opportunities!

didn't get hit w pie this year!

when did we become captains???

As for college...you really can't ask me where I'm going because I genuinely have no idea. I applied to a bunch of liberal arts colleges in the south/west coast/near texas. I swear the future is all anyone talks about. I had a crisis about whether I wanted to be a Design major or not. I recently visited Davidson and I could for sure see myself going there. Colorado College is still #goals because of the Block Plan. Rice is a dream....My Reed supplement essay was about being a hopeless romantic. Choosing is going to be very difficult! Everyone is already starting to get in places and its super exciting! When did campuses get so pretty???

davidson

rice

reed

School is going well. AP Biology is hard but fascinating. Ostos tells me I'm going to fail college everyday. Getting to spend two hours in Mrs. Chupp's room everyday keeps me going. Mr Hendrix thinks me and Katie don't know anything.

Welp I have been dating a nice boy for six months. No clue how. He makes me very very happy! He is super silly & adorable. He writes me cute letters & takes me on cute dates & wears cute glasses. He tells me I'm pretty & puts up with the broken mess I am. He told me he loved me last week. IT FEELS WONDERFUL. I haven't told my friends yet. Can't believe I am publishing this on the internet. Moving on.

us acting like we are five

us on halloween

Other random fun things found below ;-)

rollerskating and being athletic and such

hays street bridge for the sunrise (it was cloudy)

s'mores party

mocking jay midnight premiere pt 2 (we took up a whole row)

last minute spurs tix

we got to ride in a limo!

alex dropped some tx history knowledge on us

quick photoshoot behind cheesy janes

fizzix friends reunited on the sky bridge

secret santa!!!

i made sarah a shirt w her favorite people on it (& another one with a guy she hates it was a good moment to see her open it)

Current jams include: Olivia (1D), Hold Back the River (James Bay) and Stitches (Shawn Mendes)

Current things I am excited about: Taylor Swift is producing a 1989 movie! I'm going to Disneyworld over the break! Ben Rector is coming to San Antonio! JAB is about to start and I get to be an editor! I'm going to the Symphony Ball in February! The Beatles are on Spotify!

Current questions I have: Why is it 80 degrees in December? Why does everyone seek affirmation in boys? Why won't my zebrafish experiment work? What drama will go down at Senior Party?

Current goals: finish applying to college, confront my feelings, cut my hair short, give some BO$$ christmas presents

Going to do a post about Christmas break soon!! Goodbye for now!!